Erm..basically school was horrible today, except for the fact that Mrs Wong was in a good mood for once. Anyway she spent 2 whole periods just going through 1 mcq qn. Alright back to the topic. We had teacher's day rehearsal today. As expected..many problems surfaced, such as co-ordination problems..we couldn't decide who was supposed to stand where and stuff. So..we decided to get out of the hall and do a rehearsal by ourselves. But! Some people had to leave early cos they had some appointments arranged beforehand. So the "leaders" suggested that the class stay back tomorrow. and they went "everyone to stay back arh..it's a class effort!" Blah blah blah..when they asked who couldn't make it tmr..more than 5 but less than 10 people raised up their hands. Then the "leaders" became hysterical, "But why cannot! It's only for 1hr we need to get things done......" I was practically staring at them with wide disbelief. I mean..of course I wouldn't mind staying back..but we need the stage and mikes?! Who's going to help us set them up tmr..we aren't AVA girls..we can't get access to them..

So I posed the question to them. One of them went "we can have the rehearsal in class" (but the prob is we need the stage), another either didn't see it as a problem or didn't want to solve it on the spot. Furthermore so many people will not be able to make it tmr. So..I tried to ACT HERO..went to ask the prefect if they could spare us the hall after their rehearsal with the other classes. They said we could use the hall after 1/2hr. I was so thankful and happy and went back to tell them if they could get everything done by then so we could do a run through later. They told me 1/2hr is too short so I said "then is 1hr enough? I can negotiate with the prefects". They stared at me blankly and said "but some of the people in the cast are not here. It's impossible to do it today. Just do it tomorrow". So I said "But tomorrow so many people will not be here..so many people from the choir raised up their hands just now." Then they answered "but why do we need the choir tomorrow? We're just doing the skit right? The choir people no need to stay back tomorrow right?"

I tell u..I was really devastated. Hello like what are u telling me..1 moment u want everyone to stay another moment u say u don't need them. And I don't know which screw of mine was loose..I started shouting. I went "Do you know it's u all the cast people giving us problems now? The choir all can stay back today but the cast cannot..and nobody says anything. Then when tmr comes the choir people can't stay then u all "blame" them and get unhappy..thinking why didn't they make the effort to do so." So some of them went "but we won't blame them"..but come on lor I've witnessed for myself what has been happening for the past few weeks. Certain things really don't have to be spelt out. Either side is unhappy with the other. One of them said "if they can't stay back tmr then don't..nobody's forcing them"..and I felt everything was so ridiculous. One time u claim it's a class effort then on the other hand... And friday's really not a gd day..even less people can make it tmr than today!

Actually I'm not feeling sad over who's blaming who..who can stay who can't stay and stuff..I just feel sad that the communication gap between the 2 parties is that wide. I'm like stuck in the middle..the people in the cast are my close friends..and certain people in the choir are my gd friends too. I didn't mean to act like a luncatic shouting away. I just wanted to help.

Things got worse at home lor. Today's my father's birthday..when my parents quarreled just before we wanted to cut the cake. Everyone was practically screaming away at home..my faher my mother my brother my sister. I just sat down there..trying to fight my emotions back. I tell you..when I saw what was happening right before my eyes and thinking about the teacher's say rehearsal..I really felt like crying. Thank goodness I didn't..or else my family would think I'm mad. We don't have much time on earth..why do we spend it on arguing over things? But apparently i'm not a very good peacemaker.

I didn't mean to make this entry sound as if I'm complaining. Perhaps many of u may think I'm over-reacting. But all these really mean alot to me. I really care. I just don't know what is happening around me these few days..everywhere is like a battlefield. And who knows how many people I've offended after shouting at my friends..and how are we ever going to carry out a rehearsal tmr?

I can no longer grasp the feeling and meaning of peace.